As I grew throughout my college years, I learned two things: stress is inevitable and how you handle it will make all the difference in how effectively you can achieve success. During my time as a student at Temple University, I did a lot. To rattle off some things: I played intramural basketball and football was the VP of the Handball Club, the VP of Marketing for the Entrepreneurial Student Association, the VP of Temple’s student body, an actor and model, and a founder of a budding startup. Aside from all this, I still kept a very active social life and made sure I was there for my friends and family when they needed me.
To avoid burning out, I kept my schedule fresh. Whenever things were tough, in one space, I would rotate to another area of focus to relax my mind a bit. I also guarded my time judiciously, only attempted to keep good energy around me, and relied on my friends and social settings as a way of unwinding. When you jumble all the things I was involved in together, you can imagine the amounts of stress that can build up, after a while. Below, I’ve outlined some of the key stressors that cropped up from juggling so many things in college and how I’ve worked through it.
- Emotional– We all experience instances in life that test our emotional stamina and durability. This includes arguments or breaking up with a significant other, transgressions at home with the family, disagreements with your best friend, someone passing away or falling sick unexpectedly.
- Thorn in your side– Getting a parking ticket, having to get an oil change, prepping for tax season, roommates not pulling their weight and leaving the cleaning to you, your computer crashing, finding time to do the laundry.
- Financial– College loans, monthly utility bills, rent, car notes, last night’s bar tab, starting a business, compensating your team members.
- Future-oriented– Finishing that paper on time, making the Dean’s list, doing your homework, thinking of when you should start a family, applying for 50 jobs in the hopes of hearing back from one, applying to college, the feeling you get just before getting your exam results back, doing the right amount of research, memorizing a script, public speaking.
How to handle these stressors:
It’s important to first realize what things cause you the most stress. Sometimes it helps to chart out which stressors you currently go through and to figure out which cause the most grief. The reality is, our body’s fight or flight response is pretty similar regardless of what stressor we’re currently dealing with. The same way your heart beats quickly and your hands subtly shake as you open your final grades is the same way you tend to respond when opening “the email you’ve been waiting for.” The same way your voice wavers and your hands become clammy before giving a speech is the same way you tend to react to a one on one interview session. The point is, it’s important to realize the similarities so that you know how to handle yourself in any of the potential stressful situations we tend to find ourselves in as people.
As an entrepreneur, actor and model, and student during my senior year, I learned quickly that I’d need to come up with a de-stressing routine in order to live effectively. I found that the following things help me to best combat stress:
Listening to Jazz or Indie music
When I was little, my dad used to always play jazz in his car on his way to work, church, wherever. I remember asking him why he listened to “that stuff?” He claimed that there’s so much going on all the time that jazz was the only music that gave him peace of mind. Listening to it put him in his serene, reflective space. Sometimes we need sounds, and not always someone else’s words, to free our minds or to let our minds consciously wander.
Attacking things square on
I still struggle with this one. Menial things are usually the biggest to trip any of us up. I’m working harder and harder to handle little issues as soon as they rear their ugly head. If it’s an application for a competition or a pitch, I try and get it done long before the deadline. If I get a parking ticket trying to navigate the streets of Philly and NYC, I try to pay it off quickly. I think the answer to this is not to procrastinate. That’s something that’s useful regardless the size of the stressor.
Talking out loud
I realized early on that as we get older, there’s no one friend or family member who you can share “everything” with. What fosters the best and most meaningful relationships is when you’re aware of this and look to each of your closest friends and family members to communicate with you in their areas of strength. I have a select group of friends and each has a role whether it’s more socially oriented, business predicated, or life focused. Talking out loud with your friends makes you human, gets others to talk about themselves as well, and allows you to hear other perspectives.
Getting outside
Open your eyes to what’s around you. Hop in your car and go on a long, calm drive. Ride your bike through the park. Go jogging by the waterfront. Sit on a bench and silently people watch -- Don’t judge, but let your mind be open to the subtleties of life and the marginal nuances we tend to overlook in the fray of the day today. Often, taking the time to admire nature and others around us helps us realize how insignificant many of our problems actually are.
Sleeping
I’ve never been inducted onto #teamnosleep. I’m not buying it. While I could always stand to get more sleep, I legitimately aim to get at least six to seven hours a night. I work best when I’m rested. If I’m tired or hyped up on too much coffee, that’s usually not good for anyone. Make time for yourself. Plan effectively so that sleep isn’t always getting the short end of the stick. If you fully utilize your time while awake, you can certainly make time for sleeping decent hours.
Praying
This is it for me. Above everything else I mentioned, I rely on prayer more than anything. I wake up to prayer, I pray over my meals, over my gratitude for life, and over my stresses. It’s comforting to know you’re not going through anything on your own and that there’s a bigger plan for you. Even before a negative thought can entire my mind, I catch myself saying “that’s not my story.” My vision, passion, and dedication are shaped through my prayers and knowing I have a true support system above me.
While you may not relate to each of my de-stressing techniques, I’m hopeful you’ll relate with some or, at least, begin thinking of ways to handle stress on your end. I’d love to hear thoughts on how you reach your space of reflection and calming. If you have other methods, please drop them in the comment section below.
